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Memories of my mother

Heute wäre meine Mutter 85 Jahre alt geworden. Sie ist vor 23 Jahren gestorben. 

23 Jahre, das ist eine lange lange Zeit. Längst tut die Erinnerung an sie nicht mehr weh. Ich kann über sie erzählen und über sie schreiben. Es vergehen auch Wochen und Monate, ohne dass ich an sie denke. Aber sie ist in mir - ich erkenne sie in meinem Gesicht, in Gesten und Worten, sogar in meiner Handschrift.

Meine Mutter starb ohne Vorwarnung und ohne jemandem auch nur eine Chance zu geben, sich zu verabschieden. Sie hatte einen Herzstillstand. Und obwohl mein Vater sofort den Notarzt rief und der Krankenwagen ganz schnell the spot was, it was no one to resuscitate her.

A beautiful death, many said.

But for the members, it is not. It is a shock that stunned all be back.

When my mother died, I was 32 years old and currently pregnant with the 3rd Child. I was an adult and old enough to live without a mother. And yet death is the mother of all life, a deep and sad life of cut.

by her death I have known a feeling that is not previously known: The deep grief. It is a grief that much longer continues, as the area is supplied one. Because of course the everyday demands quickly that you can work again.

I developed many mourners as a survival strategy. I lived in two worlds. One world, that was the everyday use Annette, who was your wife. The other side of me but was an internal chasm on whose edge I could feel cautiously. The crash would have been too deep.

This life in the parallel worlds holds for long.

only move slowly along the worlds, until they eventually form another unit.

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blue - not just a color of the sky

Last year, it at the carnival parades in the district Paderborn massive problems with drunken youths.

This year was better prepared for the police. When the young people had arranged via Facebook in the schoolyard of an elementary school to "preheat" the police were well-organized Facebook, and arrived too. They would stage before a huge amount of high-proof alcohol that they treated beer, wine or champagne as a side issue and only seized the liquor

70 - in words. SEVENTY! - Bottles of liquor were found safe

Ehrlich -. There are some young people saved from coma been.

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Carnival

Last year at this time, I experienced the carnival in Brazil. Not because I love Carnival. It was just such a way that the Carnival, Brazil and I met each other.

It was an exciting time. Loud - yes, above all, it was loud. Anyone who owned a stereo system - and it was only in his car - she had turned to go.

We always think: the Brazilian, who can celebrate. And the carnival is the highest increment. But this time I have seen many Brazilians, who in these colorful, noisy days, just hard and annoying impacts.

Today I had completely forgotten the Rose Monday, so I was dumbfounded when suddenly the doorbell rang. A few children were dressed there.

"I am a little king," it blared.

I did not know what to say.

Thank God my husband had previously bought many sweets. They were meant for us.

nerve food.

But now, I have the full scoop.

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Moved

On Saturday we are moved. A few streets only. And yet there is a significant move. It is the farewell to our family house that we had now a home for 23 years.

Our children have come to help, but also to have to go through all rooms one last time. How often in this house the rooms have changed their functions, were once children, sometimes bedrooms, sometimes work. Everyone has slept in every room. Many memories come to there.

This house with our family history in itself.

Then there are the movers.

Now is no time for sentimentality more.

now towed, abandoned, cursed.

Around noon we are in a new house and sitting in a chaos of furniture and boxes. Again, vacated, dragged, cursed.

last night's time for a glass of champagne

It is beautiful here in the new house.
Only one story has it yet for us.

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dispute connects

Our DSL is still running. I can not help blogging a bit fast.

Today is our last day in the old house, and I'm terribly excited and anxious and sad. Here everything is so familiar to me. Even in total darkness I find my way in this House know of any sound, knows where the light switches are and know the pitfalls lie retarded shoes.

This all will change.

Yesterday our old neighbor at the fence waiting for me. Actually, we do not talk much with each other. They like to argue, so I'm going as a general rule with a polite nod of the way.

But now they stand it no more. For days she has observed how we have to crate crate out of the house.

"You're moving?", It bursts out of her.

"Only a few streets away," I say and suppress the remark "We do sometimes have nice neighbors."

"And what becomes of the house?", She wants to know.

"There, take another one," I say.

"It's a shame," she says, suddenly looks very small and helpless.

"Oh come," I reply. "They liked us anyway, not so much. Perhaps you are much better with the new neighbors."

"You never know," she replies. "To you I had used to me, anyway."

Then she goes into the house to the events as usual, watching from her window seat.

And it occurs to me that conflict is a solid relationship.

(The photo is the way, originated in Brazil, where "protect" the rich their wealth before the poor Sooo bad is our neighbor relationship but not yet,..))

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reading in Petersaurach at Heilsbronn

Somehow we should be long without a DSL connection, but we are not yet. So I can let you know about a beautiful reading, which led me deep into the land of the Franks after Heilsbronn at Nuremberg.

Honestly, I really enjoyed it, to escape the chaos at home.

The long train ride over I could read comfortably. And at the inn, it was nice. There was no packing boxes in the room, the dinner was delicious and typical Bavarian and the small town Heilsbronn was totally quiet.

today then the reading took place at the middle school in Petersaurach, a small village near Heilsbronn instead. There was a book week at school, and different classes had read the book "Merkt but none when I skip. Now she wanted to meet me.

I asked her how recovery Buch gefallen hat.

"Eigentlich lese ich nicht", sagte einer aus der 8. "Aber das passt schon."

Ein typisch bayrisches Kompliment! Ich habe mich gefreut.

Anschließend las ich aus meinem Buch "Im Chat war er noch so süß" vor, und die Schüler hörten total aufmerksam zu. Dann zeigte ich ihnen an meiner Arbeitskladde, wie ich es mache, wenn ich ein Buch entwerfe.

Die Stunden vergingen unheimlich schnell. 

was to leave it beautiful spring flowers and something to snack on the return trip.

Thanks to you all, especially to Mrs. and Mr. Keller Schatzeck summer.

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on network cut

is some point in a move the day phase X. The day on which you must cancel his DSL connection.

For us it tomorrow come.

The new port in the new house is promised in the next few days, but it knows the promise of the telephone company. This can take anyway.

the next few days, it means: No social networking, no internet servers, not blogging. Blogging only on the phone.

This is determined strange.

What have we actually done, when we were still not online?

must forever ago.

Marvel not, if in the next few days more calm goes on in this blog.

Wenn ich wieder dabei bin, wohne ich in einem anderen Haus und ein neuer, anderer Lebensabschnitt steht an. 

Diese Umbruchphase, in der ich mich im Moment befinde, ist nervenaufreibend und doch spannend. 

Ich bin traurig über den Abschied.

Ich freue mich total auf den Neuanfang.

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commissions

Immer wieder begegnet man Menschen, die denken, ein Autor sitzt in seinem Kämmerchen und wartet darauf, dass ihn die Muse küsst. Dann schreibt er los - und er schreibt und schreibt. Wie in Trance. Er kann gar nicht anders. One day, then this book is a bestseller. Then the author is very rich. But if he is unlucky, he became famous only after his death.

Well, folks, even though it is now hard for you. I must and will tell you the truth. We authors are not always kissed by the muse. Usually we make a proper plan of our book. We apply the exposé at a publishing house, and when it is taken, we have the book on a certain date have done. And it can happen that we are sitting at a desk and have a damn. And that bothered by something that already goes to minus 10 ...

Also the thick dough on a best-seller we can not wait. For one might starve it.

If you want to live from his writing, one must remain realistic and see how they earn their money to get his soup warm.

I write as often commissioned works - and to be honest, I write them, even you. It is now not asked the great creativity, but solid tools you have to bring along. Sometimes this engagement letter is very relaxing.

Einen Verlag, für den ich oft und schon über lange Zeit Auftragsarbeiten schreibe, ist die Edition XXL. Für diesen Verlag erzähle ich Klassiker nach, oder ich erstelle ein Buch zu einem Film. 

Die Zusammenarbeit ist total nett und absolut unkompliziert. Wir können uns aufeinander verlassen und wissen, was wir voneinander erwarten. Dass ich diesen Verlag für meine Auftragsarbeiten zur Seite habe, ist ein großes Glück.

Heute ist mein neustes Buch "Die kleine Meerjungfrau" erschienen. Das Schöne an diesem Buch ist, dass das Märchen von Hans-Christian Andersen zu meinen Lieblingsmärchen gehört, und ich es genossen habe, es noch einmal ganz in Ruhe zu lesen und mit meinen Worten erzählen zu können.

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reading in Wiehl

Heute war ich wieder on the road. Die Hugo-Kükelhaus-Schule, eine Förderschule für körperliche und motorische Entwicklung in Wiehl im Bergischen Land hatte mich zu einer Lesung eingeladen. 

Die Oberstufe der Schule empfing mich total liebevoll. Sie had prepared well for the reading.

Here's a glance at my reading table. Sweet, right?

The three classes of the final stage had read the book chat from me. Now they just took the book "But I'm still a child herself" in the classroom through.

to me and my writing, they had many questions.

I then read from "Merkt but none if I skip "and showed the students also, as I have an idea for a story develop.

The total time passed quickly.

In the break I could be there when the school band was rehearsing.

There was "Highway to hell"

I greet all of you and thank you again for the nice invitation.

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The reality in my books

"Did you ever see the likes," students often ask me in the readings.

But I did not. I am not an alcoholic, nor do I chat a lot, and certainly I have not skipped school. (I'm teaching a child. The trouble would have given the total.)

order the person to create in my books and to understand them, I read a lot about the first topic. In this case the Internet is a gold mine. There are many non-fiction, self-help forums and personal blogs.

The most interesting but I know from discussions with stakeholders.

For my book "Sauf quietly," I of course was in Alcoholics Anonymous. I also spoke with young people whose parents drank or had friends who were alcoholics.

for the book "But I'm still a child herself," I was at the Pro Familia and have seen how they advice on such problems. Then I went to see two young mothers, and I was in the mother-child home.

And for the book "In the chat he was so sweet," I have spoken with the youth ministry and the police. But I was of course under different names in different things and I Love Chats tried. This is of course a completely different proximity to the subject.

I sometimes had quite a heartbeat, if I get the typical questions asked: "What underwear are you wearing" or "Are you still a virgin." Sometimes I really, really scared, the feeling that the chat partner was staring directly into my study.

Then write such a book actually almost by itself.

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choir rehearsal with the German-Turkish choir in which I sing for some time.

We will soon have a small concert in a church where We want to sing Christian and Islamic songs. So we learned yesterday, a religious Muslim song, a Ilahi. It is Sordum Sarı Çiçeğe. In German, I asked the yellow flower.

I always am fascinated by the Turkish poetic language. I've long learned Turkish, and for translating and singing to me so many words come back, I have buried in some back gehirnwindung.

talk, as always, and we translate the lyrics for all first. We stumbled across the word "Evlat. The Turkish women looked for a translation. "Child" would have it, but not really child because a child is actually Çocuk. But a Evlat is another child, a child, for which there is no translation in German. A family child. Something like a son or daughter, just not sex.

How I love that language differences! In a language reflects the culture of the country, and certainly in the language of a song.

The family means everything in Turkey. While we in the words uncle, aunt, Cousin or cousin come quickly to our borders, the Turks do not have words for the maternal aunt by marriage. Indeed, I suspect they still have a word for the cousin of the uncle's father's side.

Beautiful are the Turkish first name. The Turks call their children snowdrops or rose spring. For us this would be the name for an elf.

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Only real monument

"If you put a man on a pedestal makes it which is usually to cut at its base, the Gestalt therapist used to always say, when I had done my training.

How right he still has it. Whenever someone high slippers the media, I am waiting with concern to the moment they hit it from the monument.

time it meets our ministers to and from Guttenberg.

The media had hailed him, appreciated his energy, his Even as Chancellor of the future seen. But be safe and aristocratic demeanor and his good looks were just too much of a good. Since the wave struck quickly.

Man suchte und fand. Erst gerieten die Vorfälle auf der Gorch Fock in seinen Verantwortungsbereich, doch gelang es ihm einigermaßen tapfer, den Kopf aus der Schlinge zu ziehen. So suchte man weiter.

Eine Doktorarbeit ist ein sicheres Feld. Falsche Zitate oder "vergessene" Fußnoten findet man sicherlich in jeder Arbeit.

Einer brachte zur Freude der Medien den Stein ins Rollen. Dann wurde die Doktorarbeit Guttenbergs von vielen gegoogelt und die Sätze durch Suchmaschinen gejagt. Ergebnisse wurden gefacebookt oder getwittert. 24 falsche Zitate twitterte man gestern Nachmittag, 32 abends und 50 heute morgen. 

Bei Revolutionen und Auflehungen gegen Diktaturen ist das Internet ein wahrer Segen, bei der Jagd auf einen einzelnen aber ein Fluch.

Eins kann den armen Minister vielleicht trösten.

Eine Doktorarbeit wird in der Regel nur von 10-20 Personen gelesen.

Seine Arbeit aber geht sicherlich schon in die 3. Auflage.

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reading at the school Liborius in Paderborn

Heute hatte mich die Klasse 11 b der Liboriusschule in Paderborn zu einer Lesung eingeladen. Sie und auch die Parallelklasse hatten Bücher von mir gelesen und wollten mich gerne persönlich know.

We started with a leisurely breakfast. For me this was especially great because first, it was delicious, and secondly, I had such an opportunity to get to know the students. We made a round of talks, each introduced himself and told a bit about yourself.

The reading was then with the same class together in a large group room instead. I read from "No chance, who would go because even with the Turks" and of "remoteness scrambles.

Danach hatten die Schüler noch viele Fragen. Außerdem musste ich natürlich die Bücher singnieren und Autogramme verteilen.

Dann nahmen sich Lehrer und Schüler noch Zeit, mir die Schule zu zeigen. Das war ganz besonders spannend für mich. 

Die Liboriusschule ist eine Schule für Körperbehinderte. Sie ist toll ausgestattet, mit verschiedenen Therapieräumen, Werk- und Musikräumen, Sporthallen und sogar einem eigenen Schwimmbecken. 

Eine Schülerin die nicht sprechen konnte, demonstrierte mir auch, wie sie sich mit dem Sprachcomputer verständigt.

 

Eine ganze Weile verbrachten wir an einer Erinnerungsecke für die verstorbenen Schüler. Besonders betroffen machte alle der Tod einer Schülerin, die bei einem Autounfall ums Leben gekommen war. 

So eine Gedenkstelle in einer Schule habe ich noch nie gesehen. Ich fand es eine liebevolle Idee, den Schülern einen to give place to think about their classmates

A big thank you to you all, especially up to the teachers and integration helpers an interesting morning have made it possible.

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The Versatile Blogger

Oops, yesterday I was Uta Lyrics by under the microscope the "Versatile Blogger" award. I do not really know what it is, but she wanted to express above all that its good my blog please.

Perhaps this award a bit like the yodelling diploma with Loriot, but it still was looking forward very much. This response was especially nice on a day when I doubted very much of my blog, and thought, "Who reads it at all" - and "What did I say important because even" ...

how I see it the first time as a motivation to continue writing.

Thank you so at you, Uta.

are two obligations associated with this price. You should tell seven things about yourself, and then they should give the award to other bloggers continue the blog not so long

So, then I'll start times and tell seven things about me.

1) I am addicted to writing.

2) I love Brazil.

3) I can not cook well.

4) I am currently living between the crates.

5) I like Waldorf schools.

6) I like to travel by motor home.

7) My family is the most important thing for me.

So, now I give the Versatile Blogger on to:

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Gelebt, gesehen, gedacht, gebloggt

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Ich bin mir etwas unsicher, ob ihr euch über diese Auszeichnung freut. 

Jedenfalls will ich euch damit sagen, dass ich euren Blog gerne lese.

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look into an abyss

Yesterday I had a beret from his apartment. Difficult external circumstances made this step necessary.

I walked into this apartment without invitation and without having to be desired.

That was a weird feeling.

When I entered the apartment, I almost have a stroke. The garbage is piled to the ceiling, and from every room I was met by an unbearable stench.

But although it was so horrible, I went on. Looked in every room. Fascinated and disgusted at the same time.

I thought about all the time, which probably goes in as a human right, if he in the evening after work in this garbage heap of returns. I wondered where the guy's probably asleep or something where he eats.

That was something I had never seen before. . Not even on TV

It was this feeling: You open the door and look into the human abyss.

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A childhood in Sweden

How many children around the world, I have also spent my childhood in Sweden.

time I called Lisa and lived with my brothers Lasse and Bosse on the central court in Noisy Village.

I often met up with my friends Kalle Blomquist, Eva-Lotta and Anders to include in the streets of Kleinköping bandits.

And in the holidays I was between Pelle and the St. Bernard boatswain on the boat dock on the island Saltkrokan, and planned to save the world.

traveled until much later that I really to Sweden. But I immediately felt a deep connection mit diesem Land. Die roten Häuser, die tiefblauen Seen, die Wälder und die friedlichen Kleinstädte waren mir so vertraut. 

In diesem Land entdeckte ich einen Teil meiner Kindheit wieder.

Dank Astrid Lindgren.

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meeting with Djamal

Ich stehe am Bahnhof einer großen Stadt und warte auf Djamal, der letzte Jugendliche, den ich beim Schreiben der Biografie begleite. Ich bin gespannt, ob ich ihn wiedererkenne. Er sah immer so unterschiedlich aus. Im Gefängnis mit Knastkleidung und düsterem traurigem Gesicht, auf der Bank an einem Spielplatz mit schmutzigen Sachen, einer bunten Mütze und geweiteten Pupillen, dann mal mit schwarzer Leather jacket and long hair. The
Djamal, who is now against me is completely changed. He laughs, and to form his mouth, small dimples. Right now he looks boyish.

When he was released after 1 1 / 2 years in prison, he stood before a pile of rubble. violation of the parents, he had no identity card and residence permit. He was able to rent an apartment, do not look no work, go to school and open an account. Again and again he was the police in hot pursuit. 200 social hours he had received as probation. This can create
you do not, I thought so many times. Especially not at 18 But
Djamal had a clear goal in mind. No more prison.

Where I could, I helped him. Even the publisher was there when worst comes to worst was.
A great work is done by social workers and street workers. You created weekly plans for him, supported him in office corridors and courts, accompanied him, also psychologically.
The brilliant work but provided Djamal He kept himself well in his latest weekly schedule and also worked from his social hours. When he finally had the personnel, he looked a little flat and applied Hartz IV In the summer he will go back to school.
He has not yet created.
But it looks damn good for him.

His book "deported" appears in the fall.

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As the series' CLEAR-reality "was

CLEAR-reality is, the series in which I accompany young people to write their lives. Five books have been written so far in this series, three more appear.

The idea for such a series was published from time to time issue, but actually it really was for me one day when I leisurely through the pedestrian walked. I saw a girl sitting in front of a business that the sign had "homeless" is situated next to a cardboard box. And when I looked closer, I ran a shiver down the spine. I knew the girl that is.

Horrified, I sat next to them (increased funny way, because their profit income) in the pedestrian zone and talked to her. She told me how it happened that they sat here now. School dropout, armed with parents, drugs, and especially the homeless friend, her great love. We talked long together.

I knew that the girl was very creative. She could always draw incredibly great, and so I asked her if she could think of to write down her life and published as a book. She nodded, thought that this could perhaps be a good opportunity to process the events.

Ganz benommen und aufgewühlt von dieser traurigen Begegnung schrieb ich an den Verlag an der Ruhr und fragte nach, ob wir diesem Mädchen vielleicht eine Chance zum Schreiben geben könnten. Ich versprach, sie beim Schreiben zu begleiten und dafür zu sorgen, dass ein lesenswertes Buch dabei heraus kommt. 

Der Verlag zeigte große Anteilnahme. Sie berieten sich und stimmten schließlich zu, dieses Projekt ins Leben zu rufen. Dafür bin ich ihnen von ganzem Herzen dankbar. So ein Projekt abseits des Mainstreams zu entwickeln, ist ein großes Risiko. 

Nachdem ich die Zusage hatte, rannte ich sofort wieder durch die Fußgängerzone und traf auf das Mädchen. Doch sie war plötzlich nicht mehr bereit, zu schreiben. Zu tief war sie bereits im Drogensumpf versackt. 

Total traurig, aber nicht zu ändern.

Doch das Projekt war ins Leben gerufen, und so suchte ich andere Jugendliche, die gerne schreiben wollten. Ihre Bücher handeln von häuslicher Gewalt, von Drogen, Kriminalität, vom Ritzen oder von der Prostitution.

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The Prophet is nothing ...

Eigentlich ist es mir ja piepsegal, ob die Lehrer des 15000-Seelen-Ortes, in dem ich lebe, wissen, dass es mich gibt. Aber in dem Moment, in dem ich Stund um Stunde in der Bahn sitze, in dem ich über the platform to run to catch the connecting train, where I'm sitting alone in a hotel room and try to activate the Internet, I wonder:

Why on earth should I ever actually go that far?

Why are the teachers in my home town is not the idea to invite me to a reading time?

us, there are also schools.

Even here there are non-readers.

But in their place is and remains a writer an amateur writer. The local poet who spends his time writing poems in a poetry book Sütterlin.

For this is my hometown but the students in der Ferne unbekannt.

Erzähle ich bei einer Lesung, dass ich aus Bad Lippspringe komme, hat eigentlich niemand diesen Ortsnamen bis jetzt gehört. Und noch hundert Kilometer weiter kennen sie auch die Kreisstadt Paderborn nicht mehr. Und noch zweihundert Kilometer weiter muss ich meinen Wohnort mit "zwischen Hannover und Dortmund" definieren.

Das wenigstens ist mir eine kleine Genugtuung!